One of my online accounts upgraded their login system, and now they use (among other things) a personally chosen image. (I think the idea is that if you don't see your image then you're on a site that's spoofing theirs and your info is being stolen.) What follows is an account of my choice of image.
Image category: food and beverage. Eggs, tomatoes, avocado, hot dogs, wine, hamburger, brownies, more eggs, pancakes (fuck I'm getting hungry!), pear, bratwurst, grapefruit, a tray of weird shit I don't recognize (probably hors d'oeuvres of some sort), olives, chutney, egg rolls, croissant, an apple, another view of the same apple, eggs yet again, oranges, coffee, milk, tea, snow peas, more olives, honey (yum!), blueberry-topped cheesecake, pepperoni pizza, … where the hell is the motherfucking beer???
Image category: sports and leisure. Bicycle helmet, something that looks like a tube of lipstick (just what sport are they engaging in?), rifle scope, golf shoes, playing cards, paint brushes, knitting needles, baseball, football, blah blah blah, finally here's some good stuff: hockey, cross-country skis, downhill skis, … where's the fucking curling stone and the fucking lacrosse stick???
Image category: nature and animals. A bunch of shitty generic pictures of cute bunnies and flowers and shit. (I'll refrain from commenting on the absurdity of the category title.) None of their pictures are as good as my lizard picture.
Image category: house and home. A bunch of tools (including some you don't see every day, that's sort of cool), construction materials, garden tools, cleaning supplies, range, kitchen sink, I don't know what the fuck that one is, more garden tools, furniture, … and a toilet.
Image category: travel and culture. A bunch of famous landmarks and shit. Not a single picture of Canada.
Image category: business and technology. Farms, computers, office equipment, stationery, power strip, speaker phone (flashbacks to a previous job!), … you'd think they'd have at least a token test tube or something.
(No, I'm not going to tell you what I chose.)
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